What are you supposed to accomplish in your 20s? A degree? A successful career? A home? A spouse? Maybe even a child? Open any social media platform, and the answer changes with every swipe. Social media can make it seem as though everyone is moving forward at the same time, even when no two people move in the same direction.
Garrett Landon understands the feeling. At 25, Landon is the assistant athletic director for sports communication at Trinity University. Despite having built a career in college sports that he genuinely enjoys, seeing friends earn more money, start families, and buy homes can sometimes make him question his own progress. After taking a step back, Landon sees those comparisons differently.
“You feel like you’re behind, then you sit back and think, ‘We’re only 25. I’m not behind. I’m right where I’m supposed to be,’” Landon said.
Landon’s experience comes at a time when the traditional timeline of adulthood is changing. Milestones that were formerly associated with becoming a young adult–marriage, children, homeownership, financial independence–are happening at different ages in different orders.
Data from the U.S. Census Bureau reveals a shift in when young adults reach traditional milestones, comparing Americans ages 25 to 34 in 2024 with those in the same age group in 1975. Fifty years ago, 45% of young adults had moved out of their parents’ homes, were employed, had married, and had children. In 2024, only 21% of young adults had reached all four milestones.
Research from the Pew Research Center shows a similar shift. In 1993, half of adults ages 25 to 29 were married, compared with only 29% in 2023. Additionally, young adults are delaying parenthood while becoming more likely to earn a college degree. In 2023, 40% of adults ages 25 to 29 had at least a bachelor’s degree, compared with 24% in 1993. These changes suggest that the milestones traditionally used to define adulthood are being reached at different stages of life than in previous generations.
For Xadrian Moore, taking a different path meant adjusting the timeline he originally imagined. Moore is a senior marketing major at Trinity University, graduating this December after taking an extra semester to earn his degree.
“Originally, I was a little discouraged about not finishing college in the normal eight semesters,” Moore said. “Looking back, this extra semester has brought me more blessings than hardships, and I’m genuinely grateful for every one of them.”
The additional semester has allowed Moore to pursue multiple interests at once. Outside of his collegiate courses, he works as a graduate assistant coach for Trinity Football and is a licensed insurance producer at Farmers District 46. After graduation, he hopes to continue developing his career as a producer, enter the Farmers Protege Program, and eventually become an agency owner. Moore’s current career path was not one he could have predicted. Four years ago, he imagined his future would be coaching, the natural next step after spending much of his life playing football.
“Football was all I knew,” Moore said. Insurance was never a part of the plan. That was until a class assignment required him to attend a career fair. After speaking with his now-boss, he started to love the idea of owning a business and building something of his own.
“Having the opportunity to pursue a career that has nothing to do with football while still being able to live out my dream of coaching is nothing short of a blessing,” Moore said.
Despite graduating later than he originally envisioned, Moore does not view his peers’ achievements as evidence that he is falling behind. “When I see my peers reaching those milestones, it honestly makes me look forward to my opportunity to experience the same things,” Moore said.
While Moore views his peers’ accomplishments as something to look forward to, comparison can be hard to avoid when social media constantly puts those accomplishments on display. However, having a career centered around the internet can reveal just how little social media reflects the full picture.
Peyton Thibault, assistant athletic director for multimedia at Trinity University, spends most of his time creating content people consume online. His experience has changed the way he interprets what others choose to share online.
“Social media is a lie,” Thibault said. “Most people are only posting the highlights of their life that they want people to know about.”
Rather than using those highlights to measure his own success, Thibault sees them as individual moments that leave out the challenges behind the scenes.
“I get to celebrate your highs with you, but I know that you have lows that you’re not telling anyone about,” Thibault said. “We’re all human.”
Landon shares a similar perspective. He recalls seeing someone his age vacationing in Cabo while he was sitting on his couch in San Antonio and comparing their experiences.
“I think social media has created this false narrative that you’re supposed to hate your job, but make a lot of money,” Landon said. “I’d rather make less money and do something that I love every day.”
Landon’s experiences, along with Moore and Thibault’s, point to a reality that looks different for everyone. No single timeline exists for undertaking early adulthood.
“I don’t think anyone has one specific destination they need to be pursuing,” Thibault said. “Do your best in the journey of life.”
Your 20s aren’t supposed to be about possessing all the answers, but about giving yourself the time and patience to figure them out.
“I’ve learned to appreciate the process,” Moore said.
